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The Romantic Martyr Syndrome
As a dog returns to its vomit,so a fool repeats his foolishness.
-Proverbs 26:11
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-Albert Einstein
I’m going to describe a couple of scenarios and see if it sounds like someone you know (I’m just making up the name/situation, although I bet they will sound familiar):
Maria has been in a relationship for a year. Unfortunately, her boyfriend is bad news. Her friends and parents warned her not to get involved with him. He has cheated on her more than once and treats her terribly. Sometimes she complains about how she is treated. Her friends have encouraged her to break up with him, but she refuses. “I am willing to endure this for the sake of love. True love means not giving up on someone so easily,” she always says.
John is always there for his “special friend.” He always texts her and talks to her on the phone. He has been a shoulder for her to cry on when she has relationship problems. John wants more than friendship and he has told her this more than once. She declined, saying that she only thinks of him as a friend/brother. Despite what she has told him, he still continues to hope that she will fall in love with him. He continues to invest much of his time and energy into this relationship.
These people suffer from what I call the “Romantic Martyr Syndrome.”
Romantic martyrs make unhealthy choices for the sake of “love.” They claim that they are proving their love by enduring misery or abuse. Ironically, it is quite common for a martyr to resent his/her girlfriend/boyfriend and constantly complain about the relationship problems.
If you or someone you know is a romantic martyr, here are a few steps that you need to take:
Take responsibility for your relationship and life choices. I’ve seen individuals act as though someone else forced them to be in a relationship. If you have chosen a cheater, liar, abuser, or addict, then you need to take responsibility for the bad decision.
In fairness, it could be that you were initially fooled into thinking he/she was a good person. Even so, you are responsible for the decisions you make now that you know the truth. If you chose to stay in the relationship, it is your decision.
This principle also applies to investing your emotions into someone who is clearly not available for you romantically. Don’t waste your time on someone who is not available or interested. If you do this, you only have yourself to blame.
Ask yourself some tough questions. You need to be brutally honest with yourself and try to figure out what’s going on inside of you. Ask yourself, for example why you would allow yourself to be treated this way. Perhaps you are insecure. Perhaps you don’t feel you deserve someone better. Maybe there is some emotional “baggage” that you need to get rid of. A counselor could be extremely helpful in this process.
This questioning process is especially important if you have a pattern of unhealthy relationships.
Remember that respect is part of true love. If some one is not treating you with respect, then he/she does not truly love you—period. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can be used/abused and loved at the same time.
by Kevin Sanders
Your Leprechaun Name Is: |
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Well this fits me well. I wanna be a rainbowchaser. Or atleast, a rainchaser.
You know what hurts the most huh?
It’s you being away and lost to your fairyland and coming back to fetch me from the miserable witch house. It doesn’t sound wonderful and cheesy for me.
But you know what hurts the most huh? It’s you being back again. It’s you making me feel awfully happy again. For I know… You won’t stay long beside me.
You know what hurts the most huh? It’s me being so used to all the tears and cries and being suddenly carried off to exerience love and joy again.
You know what hurts the most huh? It’s me hating this stupid, romantic dude when my heart doesn’t want to make reactions that way.
The Ten Legal Commandments of Photography
I. Anyone in a public place can take pictures of anything they want. Public places include parks, sidewalks, malls, etc. Malls? Yeah. Even though it’s technically private property, being open to the public makes it public space.
II. If you are on public property, you can take pictures of private property. If a building, for example, is visible from the sidewalk, it’s fair game.
III. If you are on private property and are asked not to take pictures, you are obligated to honor that request. This includes posted signs.
IV. Sensitive government buildings (military bases, nuclear facilities) can prohibit photography if it is deemed a threat to national security.
V. People can be photographed if they are in public (without their consent) unless they have secluded themselves and can expect a reasonable degree of privacy. Kids swimming in a fountain? Okay. Somebody entering their PIN at the ATM? Not okay.
VI. The following can almost always be photographed from public places, despite popular opinion:
- accident & fire scenes, criminal activities
- bridges & other infrastructure, transportation facilities (i.e. airports)
- industrial facilities, Superfund sites
- public utilities, residential & commercial buildings
- children, celebrities, law enforcement officers
- UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, Chuck Norris
VII. Although “security” is often given as the reason somebody doesn’t want you to take photos, it’s rarely valid. Taking a photo of a publicly visible subject does not constitute terrorism, nor does it infringe on a company’s trade secrets.
VIII. If you are challenged, you do not have to explain why you are taking pictures, nor to you have to disclose your identity (except in some cases when questioned by a law enforcement officer.)
IX. Private parties have very limited rights to detain you against your will, and can be subject to legal action if they harass you.
X. If someone tries to confiscate your camera and/or film, you don’t have to give it to them. If they take it by force or threaten you, they can be liable for things like theft and coercion. Even law enforcement officers need a court order.
For complete information, go to: http://photojojo.com/content/tips/legal-rights-of-photographers/
